你是否曾经自我怀疑，认为自己处理不好那些复杂的人际关系？

　　你是否经常羡慕别人，好奇为何他们的生活总是充满欢声笑语？

　　生而为人，不寻烦恼烦恼亦来。

　　生而为人，酸甜苦辣一样不差。

　　你在悲伤，别人悲伤你看不到。

　　你不完美，别人也同样不完美。

　　人与人之间，终究是相似多于不同。

　　到底有多相似，一个小测试，愿能博你一笑。

　　This is the human test, a test to see if you are a human. Please raise your hand if something applies to you. Are we agreed? Yes? Then let's begin.

　　这是一个关于人的测试，测试你是否是一个人。如果哪一项适用于你，请举起手。同意吧？好，现在开始。

　　Have you ever eaten a booger long past your childhood?

　　在你很小很小的时候是否吃过鼻屎？

　　Have you ever made a small, weird sound when you remembered something embarrassing?

　　当你记起什么尴尬的事儿的时候是否发出过又小又奇怪的声音？

　　Have you ever purposely lowercased the first letter of a text in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

　　你曾经有意地把正文的第一字母小写为了表现出伤心或者失望吗？

　　Have you ever ended a text with a period as a sign of aggression?

　　你曾经用句号来结束一条短信以表气愤吗？

　　Have you ever laughed or smiled when someone said something shitty to you and then spent the rest of the day wondering why you reacted that way?

　　你曾经用过大笑或微笑去回应有些人对你说过的侮辱的话，然后在那一天接下来的时间都在想为什么自己会那样表现吗？

　　Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket a thousand times as you walked from the check-in to the gate?

　　你有没有觉得从办理登记手续到登机前机票好像丢失了千万遍？

　　Have you ever put on a pair of pants and then much later realized that there was a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

　　你有没有穿上一条裤子许久之后发现有一只袜子贴在你的大腿处？

　　Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password so many times that it locked their account?

　　你有没有试图猜测别人的密码太多次以至于锁住了人家的账号?

　　Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day you will be discovered as a fraud?

　　你有没有过一种不安的感觉认为有一天人们会发现你是个骗子?

　　Have you ever hoped that there was some ability you hadn't discovered yet that you were just naturally great at?

　　你是否曾希望自己有一种尚未被发掘的特殊才能？

　　Have you ever broken something in real life, and then found yourself looking for an "undo" button in real life?

　　你有没有曾经在现实生活中搞砸了什么事，然后意识到自己似乎在寻找“撤销”按钮，希望自己没做过那样的事？

　　Have you ever misplaced your TED badge and then immediately started imagining what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

　　你有没有曾经以为搞丢了TED标牌，然后马上开始想象一个三天的温哥华旅程将会怎样？

　　Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was so ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?

　　你是否曾经惊讶于一个原本长相普通的人如何突然变得美貌？

　　Have you ever stared at your phone smiling like an idiot while texting with someone? Have you ever subsequently texted that person the phrase "I'm staring at the phone smiling like an idiot"?

　　你有没有曾经盯着你的手机像一个傻瓜一样笑着给某人发短信？随后你给那人发的短信上写着“我现在像个傻瓜一样，盯着手机笑”。

　　Have you ever been tempted to, and then gave in to the temptation, of looking through someone else's phone?

　　你是否曾被诱惑做什么，然后屈服于了这个诱惑，比如偷窥别人的手机？

　　Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and then suddenly realized you're a real asshole to yourself?

　　你是否曾与自己对话然后突然意识到你对自己太混蛋了？

　　Has your phone ever run out of battery in the middle of an argument, and it sort of felt like the phone was breaking up with both of you?

　　你的手机是否在你与某人激烈争吵时突然没电，那感觉就好像这个手机要跟你们两个都断绝关系似的？

　　Have you ever thought that working on an issue between you was futile because it should just be easier than this, or this is supposed to happen just naturally? Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run, just happens naturally?

　　你有没有曾经试图解决你们之间的问题却徒劳无功？因为那些问题本不该那么难解决，本应该顺其自然地得到解决。你是否意识到有些微小的事从长远来看竟然是那么顺其自然地发生了？

　　Have you ever woken up blissfully and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance that someone had left you?

　　你是否曾经开心地起床，然后突然悲伤地意识到ta已经走了？

　　Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future without a person that no longer was in your life? Have you ever looked back on that event with the sad smile of autumn and the realization that futures will happen regardless?

　　你有没有曾经失去了某种能力去想象未来如果没有这个人你的人生会怎样？你有没有曾经带着一种伤感的笑容回头去看某件事然后发现不管怎样该来的依然会来？

　　漂亮的樱花

　　Congratulations. You have now completed the test. You are all human.

　　恭喜你，完成了这个测试。你们都是完完全全的人。

　　You are not alone.

　　You are just a human.

　　Don’t be too hard on yourself.

　　Take a break if you are tired.

　　Cry out loud if you feel sad.

　　You deserve it.

　　—END—